Jollyblogger offers some advice on sorting through God's sovereign initiative in salvation together with God's love for all. Some Calvinists, because of this tension, reject the plain teaching of such verses as I Timothy 2:3. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth (NIV). Jollyblogger's answer? Why insist on a conflict between that and God's sovereignty in salvation? What this verse says makes perfect sense on its own without postulating that it must refer only to all the elect.
This is one reason I sometimes hesitate to call myself a Calvinist, even though I fully endorse the Reformed theology Calvin held. Some people who call themselves Calvinists just take these extreme views that don't follow either from scripture or from Reformed theology. (To be fair, they think they do follow from both. I just don't agree, and therefore I find it to be extreme.) It's always better to take theology from scripture rather than bringing it to scripture from a system established by emphasizing a scriptural truth beyond what the passages it's taken from require, which then it leads to having to deny other scriptures, as with I Tim 2:3.