How to Find My Blog and Be Made Fun Of

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"guaranteed to happen" and other slang phrases
I didn't know that was a slang phrase to begin with. I guess that's why this search turned up only four sites, none of which treat this phrase as slang.

muslims say they believe in the same religion as Christians
No, they don't. They say there's only one God, and they say Christians believe in three. They say Muhammad is his prophet, and they know full well that Christians don't believe that. Their basic confession of faith consists of those two things, both of which they see as distinguishing them from Christians. It's liberal Christians who think the religions are the same. Muslims are under no such illusion.

Girls = Evil fallacy
Yes, someone actually wants some written support for the thesis that girls are not equivalent with evil. Of course, girls are evil. We all are, but that doesn't mean girls are equivalent with evil. 'Girls are evil' is only true if you're using the attributive sense of the verb 'to be'.


Hey Jeremy,

Believe it or not, there's actually a popular proof floating around the internet that attempts to prove that girls are, in fact, evil. Here's how it goes (forgive me for using computer-like notation - ASCII doesn't provide much help for using the more popular mathematical symbols):

1. First we state that girls require time and money: Girls = Time * Money.
2. And as we all know time is money: Time = Money.
3. Therefore: Girls = Money * Money = Money^2
4. And because "money is the root of all evil": Money = sqrt(Evil)
5. Therefore: Girls = sqrt(Evil)^2
6. And we are forced to concluded: Girls = Evil

I think that's what they were looking for - and now if they come back and do a search they'll have their answer! =P

Josh, I'm aware of the proof in the post that this search brought someone to. I posted it myself, after all, even if Neil Uchitel wrote it. You should have given his copyright information, though. He posted it along with "copyright 2004, Neil Uchitel", as did I, and anyone who posts it elsewhere without including that is basically stealing from him.

This reminds me of the proof that, reportedly, Bill Gates stumbled across as an undergraduate (which explains why he dropped out of school):

1. As any scientist or engineer can tell you, power=work/time.
2. Knowledge=power.
3. Time=money.
4. Substitute 2&3 into 1, for knowledge=work/money.
5. Solve for money: Money=work/knowledge.
6. Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make. And as knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity.

Hey Jeremy, I'm not sure quite how to respond.

I'm glad you want to protect Neil's intellectual property rights. However, I think you've made a small mistake here: as far as I can tell the joke appears to be in the public domain and without a recognized author.

I'm certain Neil didn't write it. I say this based on my experience with the joke with my comp-sci student friends back in the day and based on the present testimony of Usenet and the Internet. If you search the Internet or Usenet you'll see that there's no possible way Neil's post originated the joke, and that the origin of the joke is widely unknown.

Finally, it's a bummer to have had such a dissatisfying exchange with you. I was hoping to play around and kid with you. You thought I was stealing or plagiarizing. Only an emoticon suffices:


Josh, I wasn't being entirely serious. Neil's post of this contained a copyright notice. I'm not sure why he would have done that if he hadn't written it, and I have no reason to suspect him of being dishonest. I didn't say you deliberately didn't cite him. I said whoever posted it elsewhere without crediting him did that. If you foud it uncredited, that's not you. Ideally you should have cited it if the author's name is publicly available (and it is), but if you found it without that information you might not have known that the information is out there.

However, your post raised the specter that his posting of this with a copyright was also a joke, and if that's so it's in the spirit of the jesting of the whole thing. I'm still in the spirit, and that's why I left my last comment in a somewhat serious manner (though nowhere near as serious as you seem to have taken it) and in a somewhat joking manner. Obviously, if this thing is all over the internet, even if he wrote it, it's not deliberate stealing if you find it somewhere without a copyright date and post it in a comment here. So take that emoticon back!

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