Eugene Volokh has a nice response to those who like to throw around the term 'self-hating' for those who criticize groups they belong to. People call Michelle Malkin a self-hater for her surprising defense of WWII Japanese interment camps. I can't agree with her stance on that issue, but Volokh is right. Nothing about this counts as self-hating. Clarence Thomas and other black conservatives frequently receive the same sort of criticism.
The argument for using such a label seems to me to go like this:
1. X person belongs to group G.
2. X says some things that are critical against G.
3. X must therefore hate G.
4. Therefore, X hates X's own group.
5. Therefore, X hates X.
This is such a poor argument that Volokh is right to take it apart piece by piece.
First, criticizing a group doesn't mean you hate the group or the people who are members of it. Did Martin Luther King hate white people? His speeches and behavior both indicate otherwise. So the inference to 3 is faulty. Second, criticizing a group you belong to is even further from hating oneself, even if it's criticism severe enough to count as hate. Isn't it possible to hate the large majority of a group because of their evil deeds but not hate oneself due to your own resistance to that sort of behavior? You can hate 99% of Muslims, for example, but not hate the one you know who lives next door who is peaceful. Even if you're so misled as to think all the others are evil, that doesn't mean you hate the one or two you find who aren't, including yourself if you're one. So even if 3 were true, 5 wouldn't have to be. Finally, he points out the lunacy in thinking any hatred against the Japanese (if she had any to begin with) would mean Michelle Malkin hates all Asians, including her own ethnic heritage as a Filipina.
This reminds me of the complaint a number of prominent Jewish organizations were making about Mel Gibson's film about Jesus. According to these groups, Jesus was being protrayed as anti-semitic because of his criticism of the Jewish people of his day. If that's right, then the prophets of old were also anti-semitic. Do they want to say that Amos, Isaiah, and Jeremiah were anti-semitic? They are, if the argument they have used is a good one, and it's pretty much the argument I gave above. Hey, by this argument I'm anti-Christian for saying in my last post that the large majority of evangelicals need to learn how much like Jonah they are. So why is it that Ward Connerly, when he criticized the majority support for affirmative action among black people, was self-hating? Why is it that Bill Cosby's criticism of black emphasis on getting whites to deal with racism, rather than encouraging people to succeed on their own despite whatever racism is there, is self-hating? I imagine there are people who are called self-hating women for taking a pro-life stance, though I can't think of any examples offhand.