GetReligion has a nice piece on a new Bible translation called Good as New: A Radical Retelling of the Scriptures. Here's an example of what it does to I Cor 7:1-2. First, the King James Versionfor comparison:
"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
Now the Good as New:
"Some of you think the best way to cope with sex is for men and women to keep right away from each other. That is more likely to lead to sexual offences. My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner."
Then if you really want to give in to the culture around us, you can go with the GetReligion satire version, based on the NIV with alterations:
Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a
man person not to marry be limited for a lifetime to one partner in lovemaking. But since there is so much immorality need for forging erotic meaning, each man person should have his own wife and each woman her own husband find a regular pathway to intimacy and sojourn within it. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's Any woman's body does not belongs to her alone but also to her husband. Any suggestion to the contrary is abhorrent and someday, God/dess willing, will be subject to vigorous prosecution. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. If you're a heterosexual man, do us all a favor and keep your body to yourself, or marry a Stepford Wife, but please don't breed any of those screaming babies from hell. Do you know how tedious it is to be only one row ahead of them on a flight from LAX to Kennedy? Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. For the sake of all that is consistent with justice-love, use a condom.