Fun, Fallacious Arguments

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Digitus, Finger & Co. gives the following argument (with premises number and steps made more explicit and step 5 added for rigor):

1. Girls = Time x Money (premise)
2. Time = Money (premise)
3. Girls = Money x Money or, Money2 (1, 2 identity substitution)
4. Money = √evil (premise)
5. Money2= evil (4, squaring both sides of an identity yields a identity)
6. Girls = evil (3, 5 transititivity of identity)

�2004 Neil Uchitel

I think my argument for God's being outside time was at least as good:

2. Time = money. (premise from above)
4. Money = √evil (premise from above)
7. God wouldn't have anything to do with evil or its roots. (premise)
8. Time = √evil (2, 4 transitivity of identity)
9. God wouldn't have anything to do with time. (7, 8 substitivity of identicals).
So God must be atemporal.

If you combine these two arguments, you get an interesting conclusion:
6. Girls = evil. (conclusion from above)
7. God wouldn't have anything to do with girls. (6, 7 substitutivity of identicals)
8. God is male.

This is the sort of thing I like to use to teach principles of formal logic, since almost every move in these arguments involves a formal fallacy.


It's funny, but when I first glanced at this entry I thought the title said "Fun, Salacious Arguments". I then saw the word "girls" occur repeatedly and thought, "Uh-oh, Parableman must have gone over the deep end." Fortunately, my eyes have deceived me again and "that is not what he said".

That's not what I said!

w1re is referring to a statement I became widely known for saying in college. This was in fact pointed out to me first in a parody of me by the very person who dubbed me Parableman.

I find myself even more frequently wanting to say it now that I'm so involved with the blogosphere. Too many people try to respond to what they expect me to be saying because of their grid through which they read everything, and then they totally ignore what I actually said.

Everytime I read the title to this post the word salacious sounds in my head. I know that's not what it says but my brain just seems to think that it's more fun that way.

By the way, happy anniversary w1re. Jeremy just clued me in as to your identity.

Ha! That's hilarious...

I was thinking the conclusion of your second argument would more likely to be thus:

God is a pre-pubescent boy.

Thanks Samantha. Chord and I are happy that we lasted our first year together. Here is to many, many more.

Regarding Neil's comment, I can only think of that bald-headed boy in the Matrix (I) who said to Neo, "There is no spoon."


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