I woke up this morning
and I went back to bed
I woke up this morning
and I went right back to bed
Got a funny kind of feeling
Like I got broken glass in my underwear
and I really, really, really wish I was dead
Thus begins Weird Al Yankovic's The Generic Blues off his UHF soundtrack. I never knew what that funny kind of feeling was like until this morning. I really did have broken glass in my underwear. I wasn't wearing them, of course. Somehow they must have fallen on the kitchen floor as someone went through to the basement with laundry, and when Ethan dropped one of our brand-new glass bowls on the kitchen floor today right next to that fallen pair of underwear, guess what happened? I got this funny kind of feeling, like I had broken glass in my underwear.
I like to have broken glass in my underwear. In fact, whenever I feel like having some crunchy broken glass, I strip down to my underwear. I've never enjoyed chewing broken glass when I'm fully dressed.
I'm not sure about your first statement, but I think the rest are true even if you've never felt like having some crunchy glass and have never enjoyed it any time. I suppose they would be true as uttered by almost anyone. The first one is a little problematic for most people, however, on any reading.
"Trigger Happy"